Hmm...I'm feeling a whole lot better now...I was in a semi-sulky mood yesterday, but now's an ok day.=) I got this from my email, and it got me laughing. Just thought I'd share (ito na naman ako eh, noh... share ng share. haha!).=)
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENTS' MEDICAL CHARTS at PHILIPPINE GENERAL HOSPITAL (PGH):
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
11. The skin was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
===
Sa PGH, may tinatawag na Central Block. Nandoon ang Radiology Department kung saan ginagawa ang mga X-rays, Ultrasound, CT Scan at Radiotherapy. Dito ko naobserbahan ang evolution ng mga Pinoy medical terms. May mga pasyente o bantay na aking nasasalubong, ang madalas magtanong ng direksyon.
Mga Versions ng CT Scan:
1. "Dok saan po ba ang Siete Scan?"
2. "Doc saan po ba magpapa-CT Skull"
3. "Doc saan po ba CT Scalp"
4. "Doc saan po ang CT Scam?"
===
Madalas akong mapagtanungan ng direction papunta sa Cobalt Room.
"Doc saan po ba ang Cobal" Yes, laging walang T. Marami ang gumagamit sa term na Cobal. Saan napunta ang "T"?
Marami din kasing nagtatanong, "Doc, saan po ba ang papuntang X-Tray?"
Conclusion: Ang "T" ng Cobalt, ay napunta sa X-Tray.
===
Nang mag-rotate ako as intern sa Pediatrics ng PGH, mahal na mahal talaga ng mga nanay ang kanilang mga anak na may sakit. Pilit nilang tinatandaan ang mga gamot at tawag sa sakit ng kanilang anak.
Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ang mga gamot na iniinom ng anak niyo?"
Mrs: "Doc phenobarbiedoll po."
Doktor: "Ah baka po phenobarbital. "
(Gamot sa convulsion ang phenobarbital)
===
Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ba ang sinabi ng dating doktor kung ano daw ang sakit ng inyong anak?"
Mrs: "Eh Doc sabi po niya Tragedy of Fallot.
Doktor: "Ah baka po Tetralogy of Fallot
(Isang Congenital Heart Disease ang
Tetralogy of Fallot)
===
Biglang nagtatarang ang isang nanay at sumigaw.
Mrs: "Scissors! Scissors! Nag-sciscissors ang anak ko, Doc!"
Doktor: "Nurse, diazepam please, nag-seizure ang pasyente!"
===
Doktor: "Mrs. ano daw po ba ang sakit ng anak ninyo?"
Mrs : "May ketong daw po."
In-examine ng doktor ang balat ng pasyente. Wala siyang makitang senyales ng ketong. Tumawag pa siya ng isang Dermatologist para mag-examine nang husto. Wala talaga.
Doktor: "Mrs. sigurado po ba kayong ketong ang Sakit ng bata?"
Mrs : "Eh iyon po ang sabi ng doktor niya dati. Mataas daw po ang ketong sa ihi dahil may diabetes."
Doktor: "Ah ketone po yon!
(Ang positive ketone sa Ihi ay senyales ng kumplikasyon ng diabetes.)
===
Doktor: (Sa buntis na mrs. na nagle-labor) "Mrs.pumutok na po ba ang panubigan mo?"
Mrs:"Eh Doc, wala naman po akong narinig na pagsabog."
Hanep!
0 comments:
Post a Comment